I’m back again

I love the school holidays!  I love the time off and the chilled mornings with no particular rush to get anywhere.  I love catching up on reading and I also love reading BLOGS.  Any type of blog post - parenting, teaching, crafts, planning, decorating, travelling families.  The list is endless.

This morning I thought about the BLOG that I had started many years ago, I logged back in and there it was.
I searched down the list of posts, not a lot of them but I clicked on the first one and my heart melted💖.  The boys were so tiny. 

I then spent the next half hour looking, laughing and crying at the posts I had written.  What a way to remember, what a way to keep memories for the kids.  I then showed Charlie who really loved looking at them. 

So, here I am.  Posting again.  Over 5 years from my first post, an additional child from my first post. A changed person from my first post. 

Not sure what exactly I'll Blog about, just this crazy life, the ups and the downs, the happy and the not so happy.  A place to write, share and keep memories.

Here is my tribe now... Charilie is 9 (nearly 10), Harris is 7, Innes is 5 and Ailsa is 3.

Those Glover Boys and Miss Ailsa!

Just read my last post and it has been a while!!! 7 months nearly and on my last post I was a mummy of 3 and now I'm a mummy of 4 - woo hoo!
Here she is, the daughter I never knew I needed!

I honestly was not fussed if I had another boy although that was the number 1 question when I was pregnant 'You'll be hoping for a girl, wont you?'  It just about drove me insane.  Now she is here I am so absolutely chuffed to bits that I get to be a mummy to a little girl as well as my 3 boys.  I could be sitting and all of a sudden will think of something mummy's and daughter's do like shopping, nails, hair and am so excited for our future together.
And regardless of having boys and a girl I know that without a shadow of a doubt 'I'm DONE!'  I have contributed enough to the population of this world and my bank balance will forever be at the minus but I need to enjoy every second while I can as they will be grown up before I know it!

Is this feeling guilt?

3 days over my due date... argh!  Never saw this coming, thought that I'd be early!  Fed up looking for signs of impending D-day and fed up of hanging around the house waiting for something to happen.

Here is my bump 2 days over!  The look on my face says it all!

This morning I had some time to myself and the plan was to go for a sleep but I just couldn't settle.  I googled some recipes for dinner, a lemon drizzle cake to make, filled my shopping basket at Lakeland.com and then read a blog post that had me in tears.  Check it out here... http://www.sparklesandstretchmarks.com/2016/03/a-letter-to-new-big-brother.html

I was crying, like proper howling my tired little eyes out!  It just speaks volumes to me.

As a mummy I feel guilty every day.  Guilty for letting Innes have an extra half hour nap and then expecting him to go to bed at 7pm.  Guilty for shouting at Charlie to get himself dressed in the morning at 8:30am so that we can drop him at school.  Guilty for shouting at Harris for making a mess in the bathroom when all he was doing was washing his hands.  And the list goes on... not having fruit for Friday snack at school, not having a specific jumper or pair of trackies washed and ironed, needing 5 mins away from the noise that the 3 of them make.

My biggest guilt however comes from the fact that we are going to have 4 children.  Is that too many? I always thought lots of siblings would be good for them but now I don't know.

Charlie is 6 and we expect lots of him... get me a nappy, catch Innes before he escapes, run up the stairs and fetch everyone's jammies.  Don't get me wrong he does get to do lots of lovely things because he is the oldest but still I can't help feeling guilty that I might be changing a dirty nappy, tending to a 3 year olds tantrum, getting cups of juice, cutting up fruit and I have to ask him to wait for his colouring pens (they are up high to stop the wee ones drawing on my walls) or not putting Harry Potter on the TV incase it scares the little ones.

Harris is 3 and he is a 'middle' child.  I feel guilty that sometimes I deal with the demands of a 6 year old, doing his homework, helping him spell/draw and deal with the whirlwind that is Innes and Harris is left to watch the telly quietly because that causes less disruption.

Innes gets lots of time and attention at the moment because he is the smallest but his little world is going to be turned upside down any day now and he too will need to learn that mummy can't come straight away if she is feeding or changing a baby.

Please tell me I'm not the only one to feel like this?

I hope when they are older and need mummy and daddy a little less they will love having 3 siblings to play with, laugh with and love.

January - gratitude ❤️

I always find it good for the soul to look back on a day/week/month and appreciate the little things that have happened. So here is my gratitude list for January.

Snow - the boys LOVED it! Especially Innes who had never been out in it before. 

Nutribullet - I do not usually like all the fancy pre-made smoothies or juices but OMG I love making my own nutriblasts! 

De-cluttering - getting all the Christmas things away and anything else that was cluttering up the house. If in doubt throw it out!

Baby things  - I forget I have half the stuff but I have enjoyed getting it all back out for the last time. It's ready and waiting just need the baby now (who will hopefully cook for a few weeks longer).

Space - our extension has made a massive difference to our lives. Going from 2bedrooms to 4 has been a blessing. The boys toy room is a happy mess where I can shut the door at 7pm and forget about it till morning. 

Husband ❤️ - always grateful for him and hope I don't ever take him for granted. He understands how the last part of a pregnancy can be tiring and sore and often takes the boys so I can rest for an hour. 

Dancing on the ceiling!

Well I can dance on the ceiling of the living room or the floor of the attic! Floor down in the whole attic now so we can walk about up there.  You can start to see the size the rooms will be.  

The area for the stair well has been cut out and the ceiling in the hall is away but the stairs wont actually go in till nearer the end so that there are no small children running about upstairs until everything is secure.

On Friday the first window went in.  I was excited to get home from work to see what it was like.  It was in the same position that the old small skylight was in.  This is the joiner, Craig, looking out of the window.

The view towards Screel from the new window.  

All windows and walls in next week. I am currently looking up new bedroom furniture for everyone, playroom storage, carpets and blinds.  Only worry is children's safety with the new windows because they are top hung for fire escape they have no restrictor on them and you can't seem to fit on to the.  Will need to Google because certain little boys will be straight out them!

We're missing a wall!

The biggest thing to happen so far is definitely the old living room wall coming down. This makes our once tiny hall in to a large space. The stairs will go in at the back but at the moment the boys have enjoyed running around in it. Can't wait till next week until the stairs and velux windows go in. This has been a long time coming.

Last Week's Progress

Well now our Joiner is away to South Africa for a fortnight we have to get in the electrician, builder and plumber before he gets back. Planning and organisation is KEY! Our house is starting to look different.
The plasterboard went up on our new wall in the living room and the builder now needs to come and knock down the existing walls to create a big hall. The boys' cupboard was boarded up hence the mess (we then went to mums for the night). The Velux windows arrived and all that means to me is 'Let's look for blinds', and G spent the afternoon yesterday stripping the attic completely while I took the boys on a bike run. This the  resulted in a leak coming through the boys bedroom light fitting from a radiator that was connected to the system.
Struggling with the mess but still excited with the progress.